Thursday, January 17, 2013

Fearless Friday

I know it is not Friday although my days seem to be getting mixed together and I have for some reason the past couple of weeks not always been able to tell right away what day it is.  I have been working on this post since last Friday for the Fearless Friday group and have just not been ready to publish it.  Maybe that is another fear.  The words I use and the way I think sometimes don't come out the way I want them. Before all that though I thought you could use a little eye candy.
These are a few of the flower sets I have been working on.  I have been making sets of flowers for kits too so lots and lots of flowers in all this cold.

My last Fearless Friday post I told you I was afraid of heights, well this weeks post is supposed to be about what all our fears are.  I have been trying to sort them out.
- I am afraid of heights. Rarely does this stop me from doing things it just takes me longer and I don't enjoy the view from the top as much.
- I am also afraid of bridges, especially bridges over water.  I have not had a panic attack (believe me stopping your car in the middle of the causeway is not a good thing) since my son was 4 and I vowed that would never happen again when he was in the car.  I have learned to deal with it and now only sometimes does my chest tighten and my fingers turn white from gripping the steering wheel.  My husband also doesn't think it is funny any more and doesn't make comments.  He offers to drive if he realizes in time that we are coming to a big bridge on one of our many regular long drives but if he doesn't catch it I do okay.
- My husband very much wants to retire and I did not realize until thinking about my fears that I am terrified by this.  I have been trying to figure it out and I think it comes down to money.  That my business will no longer just be money to use to help out my family or for vacations, but that we will need it to live. Or live the way we have been.
- The money thing kind of leads to the fact that maybe I am actually afraid that my work is not good enough or that what I make people will not want.  I didn't really think that I had this kind of fear but maybe?  I do know, I have had on my list of goals for a long time to be published and I sure do not work towards that goal in any way.  I have had a few things published but it has all been just dumb luck.
- I am afraid of losing all my creative mojo and just becoming a production bead maker.  I have been doing a lot of that lately.  (Kits are fun to design but man making the beads takes a lot of work.)  So I have started to do more work in an art journal so that I get to play with paint and other supplies. I do think this is helping as I seem to be having some new ideas the past couple of weeks. 

I am sure there are other things but this post is already long enough to put you to sleep so I will try to think about them and talk about them some other time.


Kristal Norton said...

I'm sure it took a lot of courage to write this Tanya! Thank you for sharing. Now that you realize your fears, you can take steps to move ahead. :)

Tanya McGuire said...

thanks Kristal.